Back to the start for a debrief
Today we had the follow-up meeting with my Consultant. The visit to the familiar place was not as traumatic as I thought it was going to be and I was very keen to see what had been uncovered.
As a result we have a name of a condition Histiocytic Intervillositis (HI) which was uncovered during the Post Mortem (for this reason and many more I would recommend and urge everyone to ensure that you have this in order to check everything). The Pathologist ruled that this was present in both placentas and what was causing the IUGR and possibly the Hypertension. Pre-Eclampsia has since been ruled out as have any chromosomal conditions, this means that the boys were perfect.
There were tears as my first reaction was that this was my fault then but really, when I came back from that raw emotional edge that persists and lingers to the sides of my reason, I understand that babies or me there was nothing that could have been done then. What is important is what can be done now.
So my attention now focuses on the HI, I need to have a follow-up meeting to discuss plans and meaning. If I were to read all the medical papers and create a plan for myself it would, based on what I read today, consist of the following: creating a Bart Simpson-esque Sterile Egg environment to inhabit, pump myself full of immune system suppressants, steroids and select hormones and play the game of Russian roulette with an interactive ovary/womb interface (yet to invent). So in light of this I have decided, for this evening at least, to leave it to the Consultants, whom I don't envy in the slightest.
Unfortunately I am coming to terms with parts of my personality which are drawing me to clearly be a person not to be beaten, admit defeat nor do I have much patience.
So, my understanding so far from, what I have researched, this condition is rare. How lucky I am again, but has a high chance of recurrence of 50-60%. I will update again when I have more to post.
So far I have found a website chi (chronic histiocytic intervillositis) support and Facebook group in terms of support which is by sufferers......guess that also includes me now then as well. Oh well!
As a result we have a name of a condition Histiocytic Intervillositis (HI) which was uncovered during the Post Mortem (for this reason and many more I would recommend and urge everyone to ensure that you have this in order to check everything). The Pathologist ruled that this was present in both placentas and what was causing the IUGR and possibly the Hypertension. Pre-Eclampsia has since been ruled out as have any chromosomal conditions, this means that the boys were perfect.
There were tears as my first reaction was that this was my fault then but really, when I came back from that raw emotional edge that persists and lingers to the sides of my reason, I understand that babies or me there was nothing that could have been done then. What is important is what can be done now.
So my attention now focuses on the HI, I need to have a follow-up meeting to discuss plans and meaning. If I were to read all the medical papers and create a plan for myself it would, based on what I read today, consist of the following: creating a Bart Simpson-esque Sterile Egg environment to inhabit, pump myself full of immune system suppressants, steroids and select hormones and play the game of Russian roulette with an interactive ovary/womb interface (yet to invent). So in light of this I have decided, for this evening at least, to leave it to the Consultants, whom I don't envy in the slightest.
Unfortunately I am coming to terms with parts of my personality which are drawing me to clearly be a person not to be beaten, admit defeat nor do I have much patience.
So, my understanding so far from, what I have researched, this condition is rare. How lucky I am again, but has a high chance of recurrence of 50-60%. I will update again when I have more to post.
So far I have found a website chi (chronic histiocytic intervillositis) support and Facebook group in terms of support which is by sufferers......guess that also includes me now then as well. Oh well!
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