Saturday, 21 September 2013

Funny Thing the Universe

The Universe is a funny thing - not funny 'ha, ha' more mysterious and bizarre.  I am sitting here pondering today with a slightly smirky smile on my face as fellow blogger and double twin/ twin angel Mum Kate welcomed her twin girls Emily and Sophie into the world.

I finally feel that balance is restored for her, that the universe righted the imbalance that took place when her first twins Matthew and Oliver left too early.  This doesn't always happen, but sometimes something bigger than us suddenly realises and thinks 'crap, best put that to rights'.  I wish it happened more, that there weren't still many, many parents-in-waiting filled with sorrow and please don't misunderstand, this doesn't mean replacing, or substituting our losses BUT when something like this happens it is a sort or reconciliation, a salvage, a gesture......and it is wonderful, because this didn't happen alone and it means that you are not insignificant that something or someone heard and saw what happened and has tried to make it right.

I believe that something happened/aligned/reached out/sent T to carry for us.  That after the attempts to 'make right' didn't work the plan for a surrogate didn't come together through my own stubbornness and perseverance alone because one can look for a lifetime and still not find that perfect person.  Something intervened to ensure we met, that we chatted, that this alternative plan was a feasible one on both a financial and personal level.

So Kate's balance was achieved with two girls and joy returning to her life.  Mine......well we are 21+3 weeks today and, ever consistent as my husband is, we can happily announce that babies 5 and 6 will be sons.

T looking GORGEOUS! 

That is a perfect 6 in a row score (I have tried to calculate the probability of this happening but maths fail me) we have roughly 15+4 weeks left to go!  

....Did you read that bit?  I sneaked it in at the end ;)

Thursday, 5 September 2013

We Have Movement - From The OUTSIDE!

Last week I got an excited text from T announcing "It's OFFICIAL we have movement from the outside!" to say I was stunned is an understatement.  This is uncharted territory for me, I 'think' I felt and saw Vincenzo's foot near the end of that pregnancy but I was so overwhelmed sometimes I wonder if I imagined the whole thing.  

So, back to now, kicks.  Little, tiny kicks that can be felt from the outside.  Let me correct that, little kicks that this week at 19+1 weeks actually stop T from going to sleep it is a 'disco in a belly a bedtime'.  I am so delighted at this point, we have a scan next week and it should confirm what I suspect and that is that CHI (Chronic Histiocytic Intervillositis) does not appear if someone else carries our babies, that this condition is tied to the mother.  Anyway enough of that, back to the yummy stuff.

Me at 19+1 weeks:

  • Zumba morphed into Kickboxing:  I last did kickboxing 10 years ago but loved it then and found it great for stress relief and fitness I recently found a local gym with a great atmosphere so started that again.  Hard is an understatement, worth it? Completely!
  • Feeling great:  Honestly, I think I caught my Muchness. I mean my brain accommodates all that has happened and I can not only live with that but also move forward.  This has taken a long time but by far the biggest factor was forgiving myself and learning to love me and everything around me again.
  • Loving not being pregnant!  I love it!  Why doesn't everyone do it this way?  Dread that "omg I can't bear the thought of having to lump around a pregnancy and set myself up for failure? Find an amazing person, a new best friend who loves it and give her the cheapest boob job ever - pregnancy! 
    his Orchid bloomed all summer, the first time since losing the first twins

So, the 'to do' list at 19+1 weeks:
  • Hospital Bag: what to pack, what size bag to take any advice gratefully received
  • Operation Nursery: theme to be announced soon but when does one indulge in the big purchases?
  • Maternity Leave: tricky one this one thanks to UK Law not coming into effect until 2015 I need to negotiate with my company to see what, if any, time I can take
  • Car Seat/Pushchair: where to start with these things, eugh!
19 weeks and the size of potatoes
Finally.....bets are on - are we blue or pink?  We find out next Wednesday :)