Friday, 30 March 2012

Nothing to Say except Massive Perivillous Fibrin Deposition (MFD)

I didn't write for a while, I realise that it has been almost a month and when I was looking back at my posts last night and having a think about why I hadn't posted all I could boil it down to was that I haven't felt I needed to.

This isn't a bad thing, actually I am still feeling a whole lot better.  Comfortable with phase Me Version 1.2, some days are still rough, those little tears still come but I don't get the overwhelming urge to chuck myself off a very high something somewhere.

A Cat.  Malta, March 2012
So blogging is the safety blanket that I haven't been clinging to quite as much.  Having said that a couple of days ago I was contacted by another silent Mum, someone who I have never met.  She told me that at 16 weeks pregnancy she is going to also have to say goodbye to her Rainbow baby.

When I asked her what happened in her first pregnancy she said 'Massive Perivillous Fibrin Deposition (MFD)'.  My heart stopped.  You see, they detect this in the placentas of my pregnancies as well, I quote:  

"The placenta has shown massive Massive Perivillious Fibrin Desposition (MPFD), a condition that has a well recognised association between poor fetal outcome with growth restriction and fetal death. It may be recurrent. The clinical characteristics of MPFD and chronic histiocytic intervillositis (CHI) seen in the placenta of the previous lost to this mother are remarkably similar."

So I am posting this as well, because I am kicking myself.  I didn't realise that MPFD is just as devastating, I have been left annoyed with myself, that I didn't manage to stop this happening to someone else again.  

So by posting the above I now make a footprint about MPFD online as well and also realise that my allergic reaction creates two horrible things. Eurgh!

Friday, 2 March 2012

Whole lot of cuddly, huggly bears.....a whole of of thank you

Evie May Bear from Aching Arms
Aching Arms sent me bear, actually the bear was from Evie May's Mum.  It was perfect timing as I have just finished transferring the boys' ashes from the cardboard tubes to lovely handturned wooden pots that I purchased in Costa Rica.

Handmade Urns I brought in Costa Rica.
Not only do I think that the urns are lovely but putting the bear with the urns brought a smile to my face.  The bear is very cuddly and the urns are so very perfect.

Guardians of the Urns

3 little Barely There Bears
I also wanted to show you some other presents I have received, some of you might have seen my first post about Barely There Bears back in April 2011.  Well my very good friend out of the blue, made me a Gabriele bear as well.  

Also a praying Beanie Bear called Hope was sent after I lost Gabriele........these are just some of the things I received, and that I keep receiving, you can see more here Ways I remember
Praying Beanie bear in the Boys Corner

All of these things have kept me going through this, the most difficult time of my life.  Thank you. x