Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Hang in There

Sometimes the things that keep you hanging on come from complete strangers.  This was a gift sent to me after I lost Gab.  I have it posted on my fridge where I can see it every day, some days I need it more than others but whenever I do need to read it, its there.
My fridge Mantra, a little reminder......to hang in there its far from over!
For the last few days I've really needed it.  I've been thinking a lot maybe a little too much as for now thinking isn't going to change anything.  Then I heard something else:

"Everything will be alright in the end, if it is not yet alright, then it cannot be the end....."

and as nothing is alright at the moment I can only conclude that this is far away from being anywhere near the end

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Why are we waiting......

....And so we are! So you may be following this blog closely (I can only imagine due to there being now much else to do, however I hope it has kept you entertained and not too depressed) wondering why my wonderful husband and I have not managed to perform the same magic as last time three months after losing the twins.

Actually it is because we have been told to wait. Refrain is probably a better word, I call it reverse Engineering as the art of egg dodging is what we are currently practising the complete opposite of this time last year.

Why? Who are 'they'? 'They', dear readers are the Doctors that now command our lives, Masters of the Universe with no magic sword. My tricky situation has resulted in a lot of thinking by the medical community and I have almost been issued a charity belt while they have assured me that they will deliver a plan if I can just lay off striking at a fertile time for just a little while longer.

So far I have waited four long months and 6kg in lost weight to be exact.  I was told at the beginning of this week I need to give them "another month or so", I responded by saying they have another 10kgs or so actually but then I can't guarantee I can be bothered with Natural Birth Control Calculator any longer.

What are they doing???!! Trying to make a move on the Engima that is CHI.  The stakes are high I am being told and there is a real sense that they are trying to do the absolute best this time.  So I best be grateful.  In the meantime, I think about my boys and everything that this year hasn't been so far as well as everything I hope it will be.

Their names in the snow at La Louvre, Paris 5 Feb 12
I'm off for a bath, keep watching this space people today I am definitely of the belief that this is where the miracle will happen ;) 

P.S.  Adding a post script as many ladies have asked me about NK (Natural Killer) Cell testing.  The answer is yes I had these, and thyroid testing and hidden chlamydia as well.  All done privately, all came back clear.  NK cell levels are low.