Thursday, 14 June 2012

Fear is a Funny Thing

Playa Cocoles, Puerto Viejo. Costa Rica. June 2012
Feeling afraid again, but quite frankly you have to take the bull by the horns, then try and run with it.  It is the only approach I think that works, well not the only approach, but the best approach to stem the panic that wells if I don't do something, anything.

Fear when you do try again, fear when you don't - how silly is that?  Then you worry about the fear.  That is why fear and worrying about the fear is normal and should be acknowledged.  A saying I always remember from Seven Years in Tibet (I do enjoy Brad Pitt in small doses, but that is another story) is: 

"If the problem can be solved, there is no use worrying 
about it. If the problem can't be solved, worrying will do 
no good." ~ Buddhist Saying 

Baby Hummingbird being fed by Mum.
Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica
So, with that said I feel that I am somewhere in the middle of these two scenarios, which no doubt would lead to the same conclusion.  Acknowledging and not worrying about the fear is not being brave.  I never feel brave and nor do I want to be as I believe that in order to be brave you have to make a conscious choice as to whether you want to be brave or not.   I feel that there is no choice, that I am just doing what needs to be done. 

That, I think, is all the bits rounding around my head for today.  I can also tell you about the crazy dream I had the other night where I dreamt I was heavily pregnant and woke up in the worse mood imaginable.  Annoyed with myself mainly for playing cruel jokes and reminding me of that feeling which I have been comfortably enjoying not remembering at all.  

These are all the things I write down here, that I have no one else to tell, but where you can read them.  Where someone might hear them and let me know what they think about that.

And that's all I have to say for now......