Thursday, 19 April 2012

Postive Mental Attitude - Where did it Go? How Can I find it Again?

I don't know why I haven't written, I guess not much to say.  Lots of thinking going on up there in my head though as I ponder on TTC again.  I feel it is nearly time and I have decided on a  plan.  

Doctors are behind me it just rests on my shoulders to get to the happy and healthy mental and physical state before I dive right in again, head first.

How do I stay positive, well I am not always happy.  I am grumpy lots but below are some dos and don'ts for trying to claw back to a positive place.  So in order to achieve the aforementioned there are things that I must remember to do or not do, they are as follows:

DO NOT - do not save the songs you played at the funeral on your ipod so that they start playing just when you are on that final 1km of your 5km run in the gym.  It makes for teary eyes which is just weird in a gym.
DO NOT - weighing yourself twice a day in kgs, choose either the morning or the night.  I choose the morning as it shows me over a kilo lighter than the evening which is MUCH better for mental well-being.
DO NOT - dwell.  Dwelling on their cute eyes, feet, hands.  The warm soft skin before it cooled or their tiny little toes and fingers.  It was what it was.  I cannot get it back and reminiscing, whilst nice must be restricted to short periods.  Dwelling and especially wallowing is not allowed.  Not now. Not if we are going to go forward.
DO NOT - read blogs, get stuck on support sites and groups (including this one).  At first seeking solace and running to others that have been there is an absolute must.  Putting together a support network and relying on it to keep you going short term is necessity but there will come a time when it may become unhealthy.  Misery loves company - fact.  So as supportive as these sites are give yourself a break from them every once in a while.

One of those perfect sunsets before beautiful days. San Jose, Costa Rica- April 2012

Now the DOs
DO - run to upbeat music.  Well fast walking with a little jogging if I am being honest but whatever you can manage do it.  Push yourself to pull on those trainers and speed walk to 'Titanium' or another such dance tune.  20 minutes, that is all it takes and little by little not only do you look a little like before but your head feels better, mentally I mean. 
DO - I try my best to remember that what has happened to us is bad but there are worse things.  Really there are.  But don't dwell on those worse things or you go back to feeling life is hopeless.
DO - say thank you for three things you have and that you are grateful for.  Do this everyday and try to find new things.
DO - help other people.  It costs nothing to be nice and there is only one planet Earth we should be far nicer to people.  Charities in particular are a good way to make you feel less worthless, you may have read my previous post about sponsoring a child with SOS Children's Villages, seeing her delighted every time I send her something makes me smile.
DO - hang out with strangers. Suppress the need to blurt out the sad story (happens to me all the time).  I think this is a tactic that guys use and I can understand why, it won't work if you are going to see the people for any lengthy period but sometimes or at least initially, for a little while, enjoy the fact that people don't know.  For that short while you can be normal and it is as great as playing 'let's pretend' when we were children - honestly!
DO - smile, it is allowed.
DO - give yourself a break.  Because that is allowed too.

There, I feel better just writing that and that is also ok.