Monday, 10 October 2011

Angel Gabriele

Our son, you were born at lunchtime and weighed 480gm.  We named you Gabriele.  The weather outside on the day you were born was a chilly, windy, autumnal day, it even rained a little bit. 

I laboured for six hours with you, you arrived quickly and silently, I didn't mind.  The nurses washed and dressed you with care in the outfit that I had brought and personalised just for you, it will be the only clothes I will ever buy for you.  

They then brought you into the room and we spent the day together.  I gazed in awe at how beautifully perfect you were from your tiny fingers and toes to your eyes which were open.  They looked at me without seeing, you never saw my face.  

I stared at you, I thought I saw you eyelids move, I willed your warm little fingers to clench for me, but really I know that you were already gone, far away, further than I can reach right now.

Father Joseph came and we christened you, prayed for you and consigned you to heaven, even though we know you were already there.

I then read you story and it was time for us to say a final goodbye, my whole life with you in an afternoon but it was a beautiful day.

I can see that you were a little fighter and tried to show the Doctors you could make it to 500gm, but you ran out of time, the placenta just couldn't get to you what you needed anymore.  Me and you, we didn't make it, just 20gm short.  For that I will always be sorry but I thank you for being that strong little man with a heartbeat like a little horse.

I hope you know how happy you made us during the weeks when we watched you during the scans, dancing on the screens for us, showing Papa your arms and legs and wriggling your bottom at him, making him laugh.

Piccolo Gabriele be good in heaven, I think that you have a quiet nature, like Benedetto, Vincenzo will always be the boldest, but your face told me that you would be a quiet little thinker.

From today I have to write to three sons in heaven.  My three angioletti.  Mamma and Papa love so very much.


Baby Angel Gabriele our little Fagiolino, cavollino, ballerino....
Born sleeping 09/10/11

11 comments:

VickiRight said...

Oh Claudia I'm so sorry. I read this with a heavy heart and tears in my eyes for you. I wish I could write as eloquantly as you to honour your little angels. You've written so beautifully, I feel honored to know you and your boys. Thank you for sharing those precious moments and pictures.

God bless you, so strong, so inspirational. I know you won't be feeling so strong all the time, if I were near I would wrap you in my arms while you cry for your babies.

God bless little Gabriele, watching over you and your husband with his brothers, Vincenzo and Benedetto. Three little angel boys so precious to you, but who have also touched the hearts of so many others.

With so much love from Vicki & Darren Xxx

Natasha said...

Claudia again I am so very sorry for this loss.....my heart is just breaking for you. Your post about the time you spent with your little Gabriele is just beautiful.

Praying for your continued strength and that God gives you peace in the days to come. I know your beautiful angels are looking down on their mama with so much love.

Remembering Gabriele, Vincenzo and Benedetto with you always......xoxo

ClaraT said...

Claudia, you and your boys have been in my thoughts. Congratulations on the birth of beautiful Gabriele - thank you for sharing your precious pictures of him. I will light a candle for him and his big brothers at chapel. Sending you all my love, I'll keep you, your family and your boys in my prayers. xxxx

Becky said...

That was a beautiful letter to your sweet Gabriele. I am continuing to pray for you and your all your boys.

Sherri said...

Again I'm sorry, I've been thinking about you over the past few days, and will continue to pray for you, and your beautiful boys. Sending much love.....

nipitinthebud said...

such a moving tribute to all of your boys.
With much love as you bear the heartbreaking loss of Gabrielle x x x

Emma179 said...

Such sad tender words. I'm so sorry for your loss. No words can take away the pain right now. I truly pray that someday you will get your rainbow baby though. May God keep you very close at this time and make your sorrow more bearable

littlemithi said...

Oh Claudia ... I am at a loss for words. I feel your pain yet I can't ever know it. Look after yourself and your husband and find strength in each other. Sending you and your angels all the love in the universe...
xMithi

little vitu's mom said...

I have tears for you and my heart actually hurts with pain.. Am sure your little Gabriel is a beautiful baby. Much love to him and to his twin brothers. Such lovely boys.

bjarnason family said...

I love these photos. No one can fully understand just how small these little ones are until they see them in person. 480 grams, Gab was a true fighter!

Catherine said...

This letter is so sweet and your piccolo Gabriele is absolutely precious. We named our son Gabriel because it means "God's strength." I think it's a fitting name even for your little fighter!

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