Tuesday, 18 October 2011

"I'm Fine"

....when you ask, that will always be my answer because I am, we are.  Everyday the sun rises and we wake and get out of bed and keep busy living.  There is plenty to do now.  There is always plenty to do.   Most of all trying to figure out how to beat this thing.  

Things that I would avoid saying to me at the moment include:
1). "It will be fine, you will get over it." - no because this isn't something you get over.
2). "Sorry I can't be a surrogate for you" (I wasn't looking for one).
3). "When are the Doctor's going to give you the cure" (there isn't one)
4). "Why?" (we don't know, so stop asking).
5), Generally trying to council me, especially if it starts with either "I know how you feel" (you have no idea, unless of course you have been through the same hell) or "I don't know how you feel but can imagine" - no you really can't.....not to mention that you really, really wouldn't want to.

I look in the mirror and appear pretty normal but I have a 'thing' that happens when I get pregnant, and its rare - diagnosed in approximately 1 % of spontaneous abortions (miscarriages), and in less then 1% of placentas in the 2nd and 3rd trimester (those are the ones we analyse, those that never have the placentas checked we do not know about).

So I'm fine and yes, I've been reading and studying.  I want to make sure I fully understand as much as there is to know about this condition before we tackle it head on after all 'she who dares, wins'. 

We are still waiting for Gabriele to come back and have yet to arrange the funeral, in the meantime Gabriele'a name has been written on Christian's beach thanks for to Carly....stunning!

So this story has a long way to go, I remember the scene in Neverending story where Bastian is in the atic and starts eating his sandwich and says "No, not too much. We still have a long way to go."  That sums us up right now.......


NewYearMum2.blogspot.com said...

Thinking of you and your darling Gabriele... our daughter that was stillborn last year is Gabrielle. She's also had her name written on Christian's beach. May they be playing together until we can join them too. Love to you always xoxo

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