Friday, 30 September 2011

Time to say goodbye.....

Today we were told there is no hope left.  Dopplers are now reversed and the heart is starting to struggle.  There has been precious little weight gain.  I am 26 weeks and 5 days.  Our baby is dying, we didn't even find out the sex but as it will only be a few more days I know we will find out soon.

I look at how glorious the sky is today, I wish I could hold him/her close while I tell him/her not to be afraid.  Instead I have to have my doppler in hand and use it until I no longer here the heartbeat.

I hope it doesn't hurt in there.

I know that his/her brothers are just waiting to play together.  That is where my family is now.  Heaven can expect my third child any day now......we have another funeral to prepare for, two funerals, three babies all in one year.....

4 comments:

bjarnason family said...

I am so sorry to hear this. I wish I could be there with you. We were fortunate to find a doctor and specialist who allowed us to induce for the small chance of having a live birth. I wish you had the same doctors there.

I don't know what religion you hold close but I know that families are eternal. Your sweet dear children will be there waiting for you when it is your time to join them, you will have every opportunity to raise them as every mother here on earth does. A friend pointed this scripture out to me and it gives me comfort when I think about Aaron watching over us. "For the eternal purposes of the Lord shall roll on, until all his promises shall be fulfilled." I remind the Lord all the time about his promises to me as a mother and that I fully expect him to keep those promises when I see my son again.

Even with our own funeral next week, know that I am thinking of you and sending my love and prayers across the ocean.

Becky said...

Oh Claudia, I am so sorry to hear this horrible news:( Praying for you and your little one.

Sherri said...

I was so hopeful for you and your little one. I'm terribly sorry.
Sending so much love your way.

vegamom said...

Reading your blog has been so moving, brought me to tears, and also inspired me by your deep love for your children. I am so, so sorry for the loss of your three precious babies.

Thank you for your beautiful words and for sharing the love that pours from your heart into the written word. You are an amazing mother.

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