Final Goodbye

We knew this day would come and I had talked to you about it all the time.  Little did I know that you had your own plans to make it unique and memorial for us on that wet and windy Wednesday.

No contractions came so even though I knew you had gone on the Sunday it was only on Wednesday that Papa' took us to hospital and they tried to induce you to arrive.  I waited all morning and at 3pm only a few tummy pains indicated that something was happening, at 6pm they stopped completely.  It was like the sea suddenly going calm, I feared that this was going to be the precursor for real labour to start and braced myself.  Held Papa's hand, lay there, waiting.

At 1825hrs you arrived; quickly, silently, painlessly, perfectly.  I only had time to turn to Papa and tell him you were coming, there wasn't even enough time to call the midwife.  I didn't even push.  I didn't need to because you were so kind to me.

Mummy holding your perfect little hand.

I held you, I bought a special book and read and sung the lullabies to you.  I took photos and the priest came to bless you, we gave you your presents and talked about how perfect your tiny hands and feet were. Your eyes were open but you couldn't see us, that is always the saddest thing, I wanted to show you Papa' because you looked like him.  You looked like your brothers too.  We will forever miss you Santino, our 'little Saint'.

Someone told me that I have a quartet of angels now and think that is more than enough for anyone.  This is not a wonder of modern medicine, I am an example of a mystery.  A mystery that has taken my whole family that should otherwise have been here.