The Road Less Travelled

Isle of Wight.

 I didn't write for a while but as the leaves continue to fall life rolls on and I went back to work.  Next week will mark six weeks and I am due for the dreaded debrief from the Hospital.  

I find that overwhelmingly this time the I only get the odd flash of the life before, a time before all this happened.  The time I get of guiltless, unburdened thought is fleeting and usually appears in the morning, as I wake.  I am gifted with a few seconds, not long, but for those moments where this didn't happen and I am not sad, forlorn, guilty, frustrated, lonely, mourning the loss of my boys.  But it all comes tumbling back and this day is the same as the day before.  Slowly, slowly I pull my weary body, mind and soul together and we plough on.

I am on the road less travelled and there is not turning back, no turning around.  My boys are with me often and I think of them throughout the day, I see their faces and can't help but wonder what I should be doing instead of hoovering or cleaning or on the phone at work.  But what I am doing is what I would be doing anyway 'loving them'

"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference." - Robert Frost