Friday, 17 August 2012

Two Hearts Beating

So, due to some very clever followers on Twitter it appears that I have accidentally gone public and it's about time that I come out of the cupboard (blatantly I'm not gay) but yes I have got two hearts beating at the moment.  Mine and another. We know that bit so well.

These are the caveats for me sharing this information and you reading it:
- Not to mention for the time being, lets be 'hush, hush'
- Don't come running to me gushing with 'congratulations' 
- Try not rub in how pudding-like my body looks

If you can stick to these three things then I might be able to tell a little bit more of what is going on.  Quickly, so read the following in an allegretto tempo.......

I am over 12 weeks, just.  I am on a shed load of drugs (including the vitamins, I take 15 different ones a day) which are making my skin like sandpaper and my moods more evil than normal.  

I am having another three injected, twice a day, inserted (you know where), three times a day and have another intravenously every four weeks.  Blood tests galore and scans and checks and scans and checks......yes, be as exhausted as I am.  Verdict?  So far so good.

It is almost a fulltime job in itself.  But back to real life I have been trying to carry on as normal, very few people know, and I am wearing 'tent-like' fashion in an effort to hide the pudding.  Trying not to let this interfere too much with everything else - what a balancing act.

You see it is too early, much, much too early to feel confident.  I prefer to be quietly optimistic as well acknowledging the pessimistic as this whole thing unfolds again and we, as yet, cannot at any point know what the outcome will be.  

This is me right now, without any expectation but full of hope.  This is me. Phew!



2 comments:

Lisa Sissons said...

I read another blog post today that I feel applies here http://fortheloveofbabyliam.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/i-just-feel-it.html

I'm not sure if you've ever read Becky's blog, but she's experienced two losses. What she says in her post is so true.

So I hope for you hun that everything will be ok.

Have been thinking about you lots and lots xx

Becky said...

I like what you wrote in regards to my recent post and on in this post about being quietly optimistic, realistically pessimistic. So true.
You definitely have a lot going on.
I am hopeful for you as well.

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